Hold my hand, just one more time, so I can remind myself why it is that I can't get over you. While I was holding on all you did was let go. Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way. All I'm asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go.
Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together.
Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. Every time I see him all cool, calm and collected, I lose my breath, my heart starts pounding, and I am painfully aware that I am not over him and he is over me. I don't know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart or being the person that breaks the hearts.It's not that we aren't meant to be together, I think that we're just not ready for forever.You always have an out. An exit strategy to make sure you don't get hurt. You always walk always. You walk away before they can walk away from you.Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don't have.
There were reasons we met, reasons for the good times and reasons for the bad times, and most importantly a reason to end. We have more to learn, more to experience and more loving to do in this lifetime. Somehow I know we'll meet again, not quite sure where and not sure when, your in my heart so until then good-bye.
This time it's over I'm keeping my heart, I'm gonna be strong and not fall apart and eventually it'll get better, I'll no longer cry. in a couple of weeks I won't want to die, I won't want to go back. I'll be able to sleep, it won't hurt so bad and it won't hurt so deep.
I would like to thank you, for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen. Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun and I guess these things just tend to fall apart and I hope you feel the same. Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision only clears after our eyes are washed away with tears.
I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore. Walk home drowning these memories in the rain, biting my lip to transfer this pain, you're gone and I'm still going through withdrawals, next time around I'll build stronger walls. Not million words will bring you back, I know because I've tried, neither would a million tears, I know I've cried.
But in the end, somewhere in the future, I know I'll meet you again to have a laugh when we looked back to the moments we had. And that moment, I'll say:
"Although it didn't worked out, we were so naive, I'm glad for having those times with you, you made me who I am today and thanks to you, I found someone better."
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