Newton Has It All..

According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief;

1. Denial

We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true.

2. Anger

We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves.

3. Bargain

Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day.

4. Despair

When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair.

5. Acceptance

Until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.

Sometimes I think what kind of experience or observation or research that people like Elisabeth Kübler-Ross took until they could summarize the mixed-up-complicated feelings into a word that apparently fits to anyone else? Just like Isaac Newton said;

for every action, there's an opposite reaction.

Well, I re-think about it and it quite fits on me right now. I don't know if I'm being a whiny-bitch or just having my pre-menstrual syndrome, I just feel like I didn't get any respect from people I expect. You know, there's a saying "treat people the way you want to be treated" so I am being nice and all good to them. I maintain my words, punctuation, attitude, behavior so people don't get hurt. But what did I get? Some people just washed away the politeness, words-punctuation-attitude concern when it comes to communicate with me. I didn't get any respect. They talked to me like I was nothing matter, my feelings are not matter.

Where did I go wrong? At first I try to buried it down, telling myself that it's alright, maybe they're just having a bad day or bad mood so I'm the one who get all the consequences. But what now? Everyone are just being simply bad to me, even people that I expect not to, they did it anyway. I am human too. I have feelings. But well some people just want to hurt me-get rid of me when they got the chance. And then it just hits me, for every action there's an opposite reaction. For all the kindness (I think I've done), there's a spoonful of rudeness that will come to me. Maybe I just have to be all bad so that I could get all the fucking kindness I am fucking deserve. Thank you, Sir Isaac Newton, you had it all.

And to all people who I dedicate this post to, fuck you.